Reflecting on what’s in my control

I’m doing a course at Muster Technological University at the moment. It’s called Leading Transformational Change. I’ve also signed up for a daily leadership reading challenge from Ryan Holiday where he shares insights on leadership through the lens of stoic philosophy.

The learning I’ve been doing via both programmes has made me think about the art of leadership. Sure, there are models and frameworks but if they were so easy to apply, there wouldn’t be over 5 million results for the word leadership on Google Scholar.

Leadership as an art and a science

Leadership can be studied as an art and a science but it occurs to me that there are some core themes that run through any discussion of leadership. These include:

Vision and Goal Setting: Leaders are often characterised by their ability to create compelling visions that guide their teams and organisations. Depending on the literature, leaders might use different words for this such as strategic goals and “North Star”. The underlying idea always describes something that remains constant and provides direction, even if tactics change.

In the book, the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Steven Covey called this principle: “Begin with the end in mind”. The idea is that even if you are just leading yourself, create a vision for your future. Your future can be the end of the day, the end of the year or the end of 5 years. Where do you want to be? Keep that idea in mind as you navigate the obstacles of everyday life.

Communication Skills, including the ability to listen, convey messages clearly, and engage in meaningful dialogue with others. In the book, Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Steven Covey called this habit “Seek first to understand, then to be understood”. Communication is a two way street. Leaders don’t assume that they know everything. They listen carefully before making decisions. In fact, I read somewhere recently about a CEO who only asks questions at meetings. They reserve their decisions until they’ve heard multiple points of view. They are aware that their authority carries influence so they are careful to listen before they speak.

Influence and Inspiration: As well as communication skills, leadership often involves the ability to influence and inspire others, motivating them towards achieving common goals.

Decision-Making Ability: The skill to make informed, timely decisions, especially under pressure or in uncertain conditions, is a critical aspect of leadership.

Emotional Intelligence: The capacity to be aware of, control, and express one’s emotions, and to handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically is a recurring theme in leadership literature. When I started writing this post I hadn’t expected to draw so many lines with Steven Covey’s book but as I write, I’m making the connections. In Covey’s book, habit #4 is win-win. This habit emphasises the importance of seeking mutually beneficial solutions in interactions and negotiations, resonating with key aspects of emotional intelligence like empathy, self-awareness, and social skills. Of course, seeking to understand before being understood is also something that an emotionally aware leader would do.

Integrity and Ethics: Good leaders have a strong moral compass and adhere to ethical standards.

Empowerment and Delegation: Good leaders seek to empower others. This can manifest as delegating effectively and giving team members the ability to work autonomously. They intuitively understand that there are some things that their colleagues can do better than they can and they are not threatened by that. In fact, they may have colleagues who are smarter than them in many ways. Again, this is why emotional intelligence is so important. The best leaders are highly emotionally intelligence.

Personal Reflection and Continuous Learning: Good leaders are committed to continuous learning. If they want to create the future, they’ll need to learn their way towards it via a continuous loop of hypothesising, testing, failing and iterating. Leaders take to objectively reflect on their behaviour and performance so they can identify areas for self-improvement.

Leaders are proactive rather than reactive

Leaders are proactive: When it comes right down to it, leaders are proactive. They take the inititiative. They don’t impose limits on themselves that prevent them from acting.

Leaders keep an even keel: They recognise that there will always be challenges but they have the freedom to choose how to respond to those challenges. They recognise that just as there will times win winning becomes the norm, there will be low periods, even points of failure. They will meet the low points with logic and discipline and meet the wins without ego.

Leaders welcome adversity: Leaders are in their position precisely because they thrive in times of instability. If there was not instability, we wouldn’t need leaders. In adversity, leaders find opportunity.

Leaders know what they stand for: While the external environment may change, values don’t. Leaders can choose to change their strategy and tactics, while still staying true to their vision and their values. That means they take the time to examine their conscience and articulate their values.

Leaders control the controllable: First, leaders are able to distinguish what they can and cannot control. Second, leaders focus intensely on what can be controlled. And they help others distinguish between the two. In sports, the team captain can’t control how they other team plays. They control how they play and impart this to their teammates. In business, leaders don’t control the economy but they can choose how to navigate it.

For me, the art of leading myself first is being able to distinguish between what I can and cannot control. If I can do that, I can master my emotions and choose to be fully present in every situation, regardless of the context. I am reminded of the lines of Rudyard Kipling’s classic poem, “If — ”:

If you can keep your head when all about you

Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,

But make allowance for their doubting too;

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,

Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,

Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,

And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream — and not make dreams your master;

If you can think — and not make thoughts your aim;

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster

And treat those two impostors just the same;

If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken

Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,

Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,

And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings

And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,

And lose, and start again at your beginnings

And never breathe a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew

To serve your turn long after they are gone,

And so hold on when there is nothing in you

Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,

Or walk with Kings — nor lose the common touch,

If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,

If all men count with you, but none too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute

With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,

Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,

And — which is more — you’ll be a Man, my son!

From <https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/46473/if--->

To lead myself, I commit to greet whatever life puts in my way with calmness, dignity, discipline, and love. Control the controllables.

This keyboard has been thinking….